💚 Codependents are many times having a difficult time finding the help and healing they need. Many times as a codependent, some people can give you the feeling that you chose the situation yourself. A non-drinking person, in a relationship with an alcoholic, is in just as much pain, and need just as much healing, as the alcoholic. etc.
Together with an experienced and passionate therapist you can find a road to healing. However, together with Animals it has shown another kind of successful healing recovery. The horse/dog makes sure you are taking care of yourself— they give, and together with them, you dare to open up, and honest.
Southern Italy 2010 –Olivia is five years old and Max is three years old.
Having children can often be a great and wonderful challenge. Children dare to be more outspoken, and in every conceivable situation. Also I have noticed when I give the children what I think is ‘good’ advice it is really me who should listen extra carefully and follow it instead.
Since I am not much better at keeping my own room in order though I desperately try…or do I, honestly?
One day the children and I went to the veterinary clinic with a sick dog we had picked up from the streets. His name was Lui, the locals told us. The dog was older and had been ‘happily’ homeless for several years. However, now he had problems with his joints after so many nights out in the cold. The dog Lui had also an internal disease, which had to be kept under control with medication. The children and I could offer Lui the following: a warm dog bed, good nutritious food, and the right medicine. Not to mention all the love we would pour over him. His last year would and should be good, we promised him. The vet welcomed us without looking me in the eyes.
Max, my son, protested loudly that one should always look into one’s the other’s eyes when greeting. Abashed, I smiled at the vet.
While the vet examined Lui, I updated him about the dog’s background.
“I don’t understand all these people who rescue sick dogs!” the doctor muttered.
When I was on my way to protest, he put the stethoscope in his ears.
I bit my tongue, smiling towards my children who looked like two small question marks.
“In my opinion this dog would never live!” exclaimed the vet. “You collect a lot of sick animals.” he continued.
My daughter Olivia looked at him with her wise blue eyes and replied calmly,
“And you collect a lot of negative thoughts. My mother always says that no one should collect such thoughts!”
All of us in the family downloaded this app. It is a blast, and we all keep checking in on each other to see which one of us walked the most.
Little would the sporty teenagers know, that me mom, walked the most every day. It shows how much I move around picking up after them, cleaning, laundry, opening the door for the dogs a million times a day etc.
Actually, I was totally surprised myself, to see how much I walked every day.
It’s a good app, to make sure I move, to make sure I am not becoming a 24h- couch potato.
Nothing is normal anymore! They had no clue what the different colors meant, only to find several plastic eggs. Later, they had to count the colors and write the amounts on a piece of paper. The colors had different money meanings, however, one specific color was toilet cleaning.
What can I say, I will have an absolute shiny toilet for a couple of weeks from now on. They believe in Bunny, I believe in clean toilets. That’s Amore!
She was a teenager. Living in an emotionally abusive home. Alcohol was often being consumed by her Father.
She told many adults, asking them for help. Some said she needed anxiety pills. Others said, there was no proof. Some looked at her with sad eyes.
The Father claimed he loved her, but was never present in her life. It sounded good, he lived her. He told stories, and people listened and filled him with sorrows. Those kind of sorrows which filled him with power to continuing destroying the little hope which was being left inside of her chest.
He was a master of lies.
Never before had he pictures framed of her.
He framed pictures and made sure people would see them. He really loves her, they thought, not knowing it was a scam.
She promised herself never to stay silent just to make him comfortable. If it so was the last thing she did!
“In the moment of fear, you can choose. You can always choose.
With calmness and stability you can think clearly. With clarity you can predict the storm, and its strength. By standing still, you can observe your own strength.” said the old Bosnian woman.
After the war had ended, I worked in Sarajevo, Bosnia Herzegovina on helping the growing numbers of homeless and sick animals.
Not much worked in the area, the elevator, and my flat was on eight floor. My stove had only one burner working, I had to wash my clothes in the bathtub. However, the heat in my apartment was on full speed. It was tropical-hot. In every home I visited, it was tremendously hot. No one wanted to freeze anymore.
Nearly every survivor said the same thing. “The worst feeling was freezing!”
One day I got sick with a high fever. The Bosnian woman, who had become like a mother to me, came up to my apartment on sniper alley. With her she had two beautiful bright yellow lemons, and some leaves with white flowers on. In my small kitchen she started to brew tea with her expensive lemons and handpicked flowers. She smelled the flowers and I saw her smile. In her face I could see the love and thankfulness towards the herbs. She handed me the cup telling me to drink slowly, to feel the strength returning back inside of me.
“When chaos is in the world you have to relearn how to live with Nature.”
One morning I realized while sitting drinking my morning coffee, that if my daughter or son, would be harmed in any possible way, I would fight for them.
I would be laud and direct, fighting for them to be heard and believed. — as I already have done in some ways— I would fight for their voice to be heard and justice to be made. Write about it. A matter of course!
But why in the name of …..did I not make myself heard? Or even fight for myself, in a more determined way?
I was shocked when I realized that I was quiet, hiding scared in a dark hole. Refusing to come up and fight, to be laud, set boundaries and say, “Enough is Enough!”
For two decades now had I fought for the Animal Rights. I was well known for rescuing many animals. And maybe also for my three published books. I could get the cruelest person to hand over their abused animal to me. In that case was I strong, and determined.
But how come I didn’t stand up for the person that needed the help most? I asked myself again!
Maybe it’s Because there are groups of different kind of help. You can be “lucky” to come to the right person right away, or, your road starts taking a scary turn, with the wrong people behind their desks.
We trust them. Listens to their promises. We trust their occupation, of course they must know what they are talking about. Right!
There are good people helping, but they are overloaded with work.
It doesn’t get easier because you finally dare to leave. Then the revenge starts.
Silence can make the wrong people continuing with their harmfulness. I started writing about this theme 1996, still not bigger of a change. More Women Shelter are being built. Good and sad.
It’s time to stand up, reunite with the past, starting today.
“Connection is the holly quality threads we animals has together. Have you ever thought why you humans still are depressed, even when you got everything around you? Food, roof over your head, a warm bed, a job, psychologists or other therapists!
You still feel lonely, disconnected from “something”, and you don’t know what!
You are disconnected from your spiritual you!
Many of you feel holly (connected) when together with either horses, or dogs (or other Animals) You feel loved, secured, you just are together in a connection that feels good.
The truth is, humans are more lonely today than ever before. You don’t have each other as you ones did. You need each other.
Everything breaths together. Heal each other as the Animals. We are a community, a group that breathes together.”