Many of us carry around some kind of grief from different experiences in life. Maybe from childhood, loosing a friend, family-member, or a pet. Grieving can also give us a feeling of not being seen or heard, a deep inner sadness. At school or working-places being bullied, verbally or physically. But it can also be in a sport-club were you are supposed to be included as a team-player but are not being accepten.
Grieving can damage our confidence.
Grieving is ‘normal’ and it’s good to feel the emotion, however, it is important to recognise it, identify and slowly work it through. The importance is to find your inner sparkle again. Maybe your lost motivation.
Working with Animals for the last 25 years has shown me an amazing results of helping humans out of their sadness. Dogs and Cats have during a long time been fantastic companions–many of us knows that. We talk to them, they make us go out (also up from bed) and when we hug and pet them, our body reacts with love.
Horses has been an amazing journey to work together with. They do not judge us, or say things that can make us feel worse. (no eye-rolling there!)
Julia is one of our rescue horses. She can be extremely calm, and got a great amount of patience (if food is not near by) She herself recovered from a depression two years ago.
A ‘Mother’ was going through a bitter divorce, not only with emotionally battles, but also with financially difficulties. The only thing ‘Mother’ wanted to do after a long time of abuse was to have a quiet ‘normal’ life. But she was surprise to find out she was carrying around with a lot of grief, under all the layers of other emotions. Grief was one of the emotions she never thought she would feel–in her mind she should feel happy to be “free” not sad. When we looked a little closer inside of her mind, we found out she didn’t grieve the marriage, she was grieving the lost of her ‘dream’ from having a family. When she mentioned this to some of her friends, they looked at her saying, “Thats not normal! “
But it is ‘normal’ to grieve a dream which you invested hard work in, love and maybe children. When ‘Mother’ heard that, she wrote her grief down in a Journal to put words on what she felt. She had heard about Julia, therapy horse via her psychologist (and contacted me). ‘Mother’ couldn’t afford her own horse, and her daughter was madly in love with horses.
Thanks to sponsors can we give others a ‘stress relive emotional day’ together with the horses. The first thing ‘Mother’ said when she arrived, “I noticed I am breathing slower right now!” ‘Mother’ and her Daughter got Julias cleaning box and started to brush her. Small giggles could be heard from them while brushing her. They took a walk through the forrest in silence, only accepting the moment they had together. Nothing else could be done right then.
Twice a week, on their special days, are ‘Mother’ and ‘Daughter’ coming to the stable to have a couple of hours together with Julia. ‘Mother’ feels more relaxed and have accepted that her former dream she actually can re-change into a new dream.A new beginning for both her and her daughter.
I call it, mentally detoxing.
This happened a couple of months ago, and ‘Mother’ is slowly getting her emotions under ‘control and acceptance’. With different contacts were we able to get a horse for free for them–there are many ‘older’ horses out there that needs/wants a new home. And they are all for free.
They are not sick–many times are they former professional horses that goes into retirement. We call it– ‘Thank You for Your Service Retirement Stable’
We adults are forgetting many times how it is to stay in school a whole day, in an environment that’s loud from different emotions. A school full of “beautiful souls” dragging their “home environment “ with them in their backpacks.
Hiding from whom they might be angry at, but mostly attacking the wrong person. ⭐️You are a beautiful person with a big heart. Sometimes people are mean because they want what you got inside your heart. Stay beautiful and don’t let dark words shut your light.
Find an adult that you feel safe talking to, and that makes you feel heard. Your words should be taken seriously. That’s Amore!
She was a teenager. Living in an emotionally abusive home. Alcohol was often being consumed by her Father.
She told many adults, asking them for help. Some said she needed anxiety pills. Others said, there was no proof. Some looked at her with sad eyes.
The Father claimed he loved her, but was never present in her life. It sounded good, he lived her. He told stories, and people listened and filled him with sorrows. Those kind of sorrows which filled him with power to continuing destroying the little hope which was being left inside of her chest.
He was a master of lies.
Never before had he pictures framed of her.
He framed pictures and made sure people would see them. He really loves her, they thought, not knowing it was a scam.
She promised herself never to stay silent just to make him comfortable. If it so was the last thing she did!
One morning I realized while sitting drinking my morning coffee, that if my daughter or son, would be harmed in any possible way, I would fight for them.
I would be laud and direct, fighting for them to be heard and believed. — as I already have done in some ways— I would fight for their voice to be heard and justice to be made. Write about it. A matter of course!
But why in the name of …..did I not make myself heard? Or even fight for myself, in a more determined way?
I was shocked when I realized that I was quiet, hiding scared in a dark hole. Refusing to come up and fight, to be laud, set boundaries and say, “Enough is Enough!”
For two decades now had I fought for the Animal Rights. I was well known for rescuing many animals. And maybe also for my three published books. I could get the cruelest person to hand over their abused animal to me. In that case was I strong, and determined.
But how come I didn’t stand up for the person that needed the help most? I asked myself again!
Maybe it’s Because there are groups of different kind of help. You can be “lucky” to come to the right person right away, or, your road starts taking a scary turn, with the wrong people behind their desks.
We trust them. Listens to their promises. We trust their occupation, of course they must know what they are talking about. Right!
There are good people helping, but they are overloaded with work.
It doesn’t get easier because you finally dare to leave. Then the revenge starts.
Silence can make the wrong people continuing with their harmfulness. I started writing about this theme 1996, still not bigger of a change. More Women Shelter are being built. Good and sad.
It’s time to stand up, reunite with the past, starting today.
💚 Happy women’s Day! There are so many women that inspires me, I cannot fit you in here. Some I know personally, and some I read about. You empower, you support you are fearless, you fight also for other women— which at certain times need to borrow your cape. I love you ❤️ Finally, I dare to take responsibility for my own life!! Thank you for helping me make my own cape! Every Day is Women’s Day 🥕
One thing I learned through the long journey as a victim, was to find strong survivors for support and advice.
These incredible women (and one man ) understands first and foremost, all the different emotions which (many times ) are making it difficult for the mind to move forward.
They are also helping with my recovery and growth, to become whole again. They understand the time it takes. Small steps and big cheers!
What I love with these strong women I am surrounded by, there are never any talk about revenge. Only to get knowledge and love (support) and possibilities for myself. And of course laughters, between the tears.
Psychological abuse leaves no bruises. There are no broken bones. There are no holes in the walls. The bruises, brokenness, and holes are held tightly within the target of the abuse.
Emotional and financial harm are the common ways to destroy the target.
Every week I hear the same kind of stories from different women. My Mother, one Doctor, Psychologists, Stay Home Moms, one Army Captain, Nurse…. I can go on and on. One thing these women have in common:
They are beautiful smart women, but became targets by harmful men. Not, of course, in the beginning, that would have been to easy.
Groomers, with love bombing and learning how to mimic the women’s dreams. Playfully, like a cat is playing with the mouse. It’s a game.
“Because it’s fun” one man told me. Another man shrugged his shoulders, he just did it! Why? He couldn’t answer.
The silence will keep more and more women in the shame trap, if we don’t speak louder about it, openly.