Mia Mattsson Mercer

Children and Animal Warrior

Tag Archives: friends

Grieving in Different Kind of Shapes

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Grieving in different kind of shapes. (part 1)

Many of us carry around some kind of grief from different experiences in life. Maybe from childhood, loosing a friend, family-member, or a pet. Grieving can also give us a feeling of not being seen or heard, a deep inner sadness. At school or working-places being bullied, verbally or physically. But it can also be in a sport-club were you are supposed to be included as a team-player but are not being accepten.

Grieving can damage our confidence.

Grieving is ‘normal’ and it’s good to feel the emotion, however, it is important to recognise it, identify and slowly work it through. The importance is to find your inner sparkle again. Maybe your lost motivation.

Working with Animals for the last 25 years has shown me an amazing results of helping humans out of their sadness. Dogs and Cats have during a long time been fantastic companions–many of us knows that. We talk to them, they make us go out (also up from bed) and when we hug and pet them, our body reacts with love.

Horses has been an amazing journey to work together with. They do not judge us, or say things that can make us feel worse. (no eye-rolling there!)

Julia is one of our rescue horses. She can be extremely calm, and got a great amount of patience (if food is not near by) She herself recovered from a depression two years ago.

A ‘Mother’ was going through a bitter divorce, not only with emotionally battles, but also with financially difficulties. The only thing ‘Mother’ wanted to do after a long time of abuse was to have a quiet ‘normal’ life. But she was surprise to find out she was carrying around with a lot of grief, under all the layers of other emotions. Grief was one of the emotions she never thought she would feel–in her mind she should feel happy to be “free” not sad. When we looked a little closer inside of her mind, we found out she didn’t grieve the marriage, she was grieving the lost of her ‘dream’ from having a family. When she mentioned this to some of her friends, they looked at her saying, “Thats not normal! “

But it is ‘normal’ to grieve a dream which you invested hard work in, love and maybe children. When ‘Mother’ heard that, she wrote her grief down in a Journal to put words on what she felt. She had heard about Julia, therapy horse via her psychologist (and contacted me). ‘Mother’ couldn’t afford her own horse, and her daughter was madly in love with horses.

Thanks to sponsors can we give others a ‘stress relive emotional day’ together with the horses. The first thing ‘Mother’ said when she arrived, “I noticed I am breathing slower right now!” ‘Mother’ and her Daughter got Julias cleaning box and started to brush her. Small giggles could be heard from them while brushing her. They took a walk through the forrest in silence, only accepting the moment they had together. Nothing else could be done right then.

Twice a week, on their special days, are ‘Mother’ and ‘Daughter’ coming to the stable to have a couple of hours together with Julia. ‘Mother’ feels more relaxed and have accepted that her former dream she actually can re-change into a new dream.A new beginning for both her and her daughter.

I call it, mentally detoxing.

This happened a couple of months ago, and ‘Mother’ is slowly getting her emotions under ‘control and acceptance’. With different contacts were we able to get a horse for free for them–there are many ‘older’ horses out there that needs/wants a new home. And they are all for free.

They are not sick–many times are they former professional horses that goes into retirement. We call it– ‘Thank You for Your Service Retirement Stable’

That’s Amore!

Counting Carrots and Goodies

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When inside the house the whole days and evenings— except running in the garden, walking dogs. More food is being consumed in our household.

And talk about goodies suddenly disappearing in a blink of an eye 🙂 Different hiding places are being found by them. Their noses are being perfect.

However, the amount of carrots and apples stays the same, but not the goodies 🙂

When questioning who ate all the ice cream, the kids always have the same innocent eyes, even the six dogs.

You got to Love them, two legged and four legged kids. Even when you see the small traces of chocolate on their t shirts.

That’s Amore!

Listen!

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She was a teenager. Living in an emotionally abusive home. Alcohol was often being consumed by her Father.

She told many adults, asking them for help. Some said she needed anxiety pills. Others said, there was no proof. Some looked at her with sad eyes.

The Father claimed he loved her, but was never present in her life. It sounded good, he lived her. He told stories, and people listened and filled him with sorrows. Those kind of sorrows which filled him with power to continuing destroying the little hope which was being left inside of her chest.

He was a master of lies.

Never before had he pictures framed of her.

He framed pictures and made sure people would see them. He really loves her, they thought, not knowing it was a scam.

She promised herself never to stay silent just to make him comfortable. If it so was the last thing she did!

Where did the Voice Go

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One morning I realized while sitting drinking my morning coffee, that if my daughter or son, would be harmed in any possible way, I would fight for them.

I would be laud and direct, fighting for them to be heard and believed. — as I already have done in some ways— I would fight for their voice to be heard and justice to be made. Write about it. A matter of course!

But why in the name of …..did I not make myself heard? Or even fight for myself, in a more determined way?

I was shocked when I realized that I was quiet, hiding scared in a dark hole. Refusing to come up and fight, to be laud, set boundaries and say, “Enough is Enough!”

For two decades now had I fought for the Animal Rights. I was well known for rescuing many animals. And maybe also for my three published books. I could get the cruelest person to hand over their abused animal to me. In that case was I strong, and determined.

But how come I didn’t stand up for the person that needed the help most? I asked myself again!

Maybe it’s Because there are groups of different kind of help. You can be “lucky” to come to the right person right away, or, your road starts taking a scary turn, with the wrong people behind their desks.

We trust them. Listens to their promises. We trust their occupation, of course they must know what they are talking about. Right!

There are good people helping, but they are overloaded with work.

It doesn’t get easier because you finally dare to leave. Then the revenge starts.

Silence can make the wrong people continuing with their harmfulness. I started writing about this theme 1996, still not bigger of a change. More Women Shelter are being built. Good and sad.

It’s time to stand up, reunite with the past, starting today.

That’s Amore!

Let’s Make More Capes

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💚 Happy women’s Day! There are so many women that inspires me, I cannot fit you in here. Some I know personally, and some I read about.
You empower, you support you are fearless, you fight also for other women— which at certain times need to borrow your cape.
I love you ❤️ Finally, I dare to take responsibility for my own life!! Thank you for helping me make my own cape! Every Day is Women’s Day 🥕

internationalwomensday #women #viking #wonderwoman #staystrong #thatsamore

Babies and Animals are Born Pure

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With big certainty will you become narcissistic, inherit the narcissistic personality while growing up. If you don’t have anyone in your environment who can raise, and support you in a healthy way.

Babies and young children have an innate sense of justice and empathy. In fact, even animals has, research shows. ( of course that was no surprise for me)

That’s Amore!

Empower yourself with Strong Survivors

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One thing I learned through the long journey as a victim, was to find strong survivors for support and advice.

These incredible women (and one man ) understands first and foremost, all the different emotions which (many times ) are making it difficult for the mind to move forward.

They are also helping with my recovery and growth, to become whole again. They understand the time it takes. Small steps and big cheers!

What I love with these strong women I am surrounded by, there are never any talk about revenge. Only to get knowledge and love (support) and possibilities for myself. And of course laughters, between the tears.

Now …….

That’s Amore!

I Lead my Heart with Courage

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When there is sun and blue sky, life feels lighter

When you are with a friend, life feels good.

When someone asks, how are your, not only with their words, but also with their eyes.

Feels amazing.

They stop their own life for a minute, and connects with you.

I see when you hurry up to avoid me, but I smile towards you. I know you feel guilty, and I don’t want you to have that burden, because of me.

I continue pretending everything is fine.

I am thankful, you know, that I finally can see clearly with my own eyes, even if it hurts.

But only in that moment, I let it hurt.

I don’t judge you. You see, I am learning not to judge myself. So I turn around, and walks towards the horses. We are one.

I feel accepted without any words.

That’s Amore!

The Weight on a Child’s Shoulder

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A child’s shoulder were not built to bear the weight of their parents choices.

You cannot change what you don’t know, however, when you do know, you have a choice. It’s painful, maybe shameful, frightening, feeling alone and scared.

But you can do it! Get professional help, and do not be afraid of trying different ways. As long as your intuition, and feeling empowered grows, you will grow towards healing.

It will take time.

“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” — John C. Maxwell–

That’s Amore!

Human and Horse Therapists Together

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I am very excited to see our “quiet” project, back in 2018 named as Giving Back, is becoming known by various psychologist, and different therapists in our area.  And our project is growing!

I am truly thankful, and enthusiastic for their open minds, and becoming more aware that animals, are having a huge impact on us humans healing.

Me and AWL (supporters) are rescuing horses with different kind of mental illness. Some of the horses are having ‘deeper’ depressions than the others.

Me and my daughter, work quietly together with the rescue horses, figuring out with their guidance, how they wants to heal.

Each one of them, shows us which directions they want to go. Since they don’t have the same story, or experiences to tell us, we need to listen extra carefully.

All five horses doesn’t receive the same therapy from us!

Same goes for us humans.

Mental illness doesn’t take a break, and neither can we.

That’s Amore!