Grieving in different kind of shapes. (part 1)
Many of us carry around some kind of grief from different experiences in life. Maybe from childhood, loosing a friend, family-member, or a pet. Grieving can also give us a feeling of not being seen or heard, a deep inner sadness. At school or working-places being bullied, verbally or physically. But it can also be in a sport-club were you are supposed to be included as a team-player but are not being accepten.
Grieving can damage our confidence.
Grieving is ‘normal’ and it’s good to feel the emotion, however, it is important to recognise it, identify and slowly work it through. The importance is to find your inner sparkle again. Maybe your lost motivation.
Working with Animals for the last 25 years has shown me an amazing results of helping humans out of their sadness. Dogs and Cats have during a long time been fantastic companions–many of us knows that. We talk to them, they make us go out (also up from bed) and when we hug and pet them, our body reacts with love.
Horses has been an amazing journey to work together with. They do not judge us, or say things that can make us feel worse. (no eye-rolling there!)
Julia is one of our rescue horses. She can be extremely calm, and got a great amount of patience (if food is not near by) She herself recovered from a depression two years ago.
A ‘Mother’ was going through a bitter divorce, not only with emotionally battles, but also with financially difficulties. The only thing ‘Mother’ wanted to do after a long time of abuse was to have a quiet ‘normal’ life. But she was surprise to find out she was carrying around with a lot of grief, under all the layers of other emotions. Grief was one of the emotions she never thought she would feel–in her mind she should feel happy to be “free” not sad. When we looked a little closer inside of her mind, we found out she didn’t grieve the marriage, she was grieving the lost of her ‘dream’ from having a family. When she mentioned this to some of her friends, they looked at her saying, “Thats not normal! “
But it is ‘normal’ to grieve a dream which you invested hard work in, love and maybe children. When ‘Mother’ heard that, she wrote her grief down in a Journal to put words on what she felt. She had heard about Julia, therapy horse via her psychologist (and contacted me). ‘Mother’ couldn’t afford her own horse, and her daughter was madly in love with horses.
Thanks to sponsors can we give others a ‘stress relive emotional day’ together with the horses. The first thing ‘Mother’ said when she arrived, “I noticed I am breathing slower right now!” ‘Mother’ and her Daughter got Julias cleaning box and started to brush her. Small giggles could be heard from them while brushing her. They took a walk through the forrest in silence, only accepting the moment they had together. Nothing else could be done right then.
Twice a week, on their special days, are ‘Mother’ and ‘Daughter’ coming to the stable to have a couple of hours together with Julia. ‘Mother’ feels more relaxed and have accepted that her former dream she actually can re-change into a new dream.A new beginning for both her and her daughter.
I call it, mentally detoxing.
This happened a couple of months ago, and ‘Mother’ is slowly getting her emotions under ‘control and acceptance’. With different contacts were we able to get a horse for free for them–there are many ‘older’ horses out there that needs/wants a new home. And they are all for free.
They are not sick–many times are they former professional horses that goes into retirement. We call it– ‘Thank You for Your Service Retirement Stable’