Right now, am I studying about High Conflict People. Persons which can make your life stressful, frustrating, and even extremely challenging. They bully, or belittle you, now matter age. Placing blames, or threatening, acting aggressive in appropriate ways. Spreading rumours, and love to sabotage. (I can go on)
As a child, you do not understand this kind of behaviour — and while growing up, you continue believing that this is a ‘normal’. Since your internal voice continues telling you so over and over again. “It’s your fault!’ “You made me do this to you!”
As time goes, one day you fall in love, being charmed, and it feels great.
You feel loved. You feel seen. You are madly in love. You talk about your future together.
Grooming has started, without your understanding, right that moment. But, it feels good!
Children that grew up with being belittled, bullied or abuse in any way, are easy targets for High Conflict Persons. Grooming with love and promises, sweet dreams.
After I while, the isolation starts. Slowly! It’s not noticeable, just like gas, creeping slowly invisible up on you.
Suddenly, the blames starts to come like hail storms. Sometimes with small glimpses of sunshine– to keep you confused. Maybe you only over react?
Yes, during my childhood, growing up, ‘they’ said it was my fault, ‘I was useless, I couldn’t do anything right. Of course, ‘It’s all your fault!”
It’s not about YOU! It’s all about them.
Start by writing a journal, date, underline, feel and write. Because at first we deny, we don’t want to believe what is happening. While writing, the truth will appear on the paper.
Is it your fault?
Try relaxing your thoughts. Try meditation, in different ways to find the one that suits you at the moment. Just try out.
Light a candle, breath. Tell your brain, over and over again, ‘you can do this!’
You are not alone!